For all of you who had to choose to watch either the Pro Bowl, the Bachelor wedding, the latest Sherlock Holmes with Benedict Cumberbatch, the new Keeping Up With The Kardashians episode (jk) and the Grammys — I get it. It’s a headache and a half to DVR everything and then have the time to even watch it all.
Well, leave the Grammy recap up to me. I’m here to inform you of the most memorable, the entirely disturbing, and the most entertaining performances of the night.
Beyonce and Jay-Z’s Dynamic Duo of Love
When Beyonce released her secret album last month, the world was shocked. How did she keep the album on the low-down for that long? INCONCEIVABLE. Anywho, she did it with beauty and grace — not to mention all of her songs on her self-titled album are catchy as heck (“Partition” is my personal favorite).
So, when the Grammys opened with Beyonce sitting on a chair wearing basically nothing and the song “Drunk in Love” started playing, I knew isht was about to go down. Beyonce’s stares make you want to melt from how steamy her gaze is. While she gives this face the entire time, she basically does a burlesque performance while showing off how perfect her vocal chords are.
Every man (and even some women) wanted to be that chair. Sorry everyone, as we know the “Queen B” is taken by the only other person worthy of her power trip – Jay Z. Not only is the song “Drunk in Love” basically about Beyonce and Jay Z’s love escapades, but the man himself is featured on the track.
As Beyonce lifts her goddess body from the chair, Jay Z comes onstage to sing with his woman. Now, I’ve heard a lot of controversy about this performance. A lot of people via Twitter said they thought the two were uncomfortable to watch. I thought it was hot. Everyone should expect nothing less from the rulers of the illuminati.
Katy Perry’s Performance of “Dark Horse”
This song is my jam. It’s hard to not find it entirely compelling and catchy. I guarantee you that any time this track comes on, all young women will stop to get their groove on.
So, as Perry emerged from what looks like the Salem Witch Trials, she starts singing and dancing with her 2904890832 backup dancers. The performance is very dark and bewitching – literally. At one point when rapper Juicy J comes out of nowhere to sing his rap bridge, Perry and two other dancers are essentially pole dancing on witches brooms.
At this point I’m mesmerized. I would love to know what was going through John Mayer’s head during this performance. At the end of the song Perry took a nod from “American Horror Story’s Coven” and gives the illusion that she is being burned at the stake. Seriously, there’s a ring of fire from where she did the broom pole dancing.
Pink Du Soleil
Pink is a bad a$$ and she has more muscles than The Rock. How do I know? She proved it last night as she flew through the air using ribbon/rope. It legitimately could have been choreographed by someone at Cirque du Soleil. She defied gravity and it was beautiful. I’m skeptical when it comes down to her singing. If I was flying through the air with nothing but my own weight and those ropes my voice wouldn’t sound as great as hers did.
The Performance That Was Everything
When LL Cool J announced that Imagine Dragons and Kendrick Lamar were going to perform together, I was instantly intrigued. I mean Imagine Dragons has made a name for themselves. Who doesn’t know the song “Demons”? If that’s you, stop hiding under a rock. Kendrick Lamar is a rapper that has become really popular over the year, and in my opinion, rightly so. Think “Swimming Pools” and “Poetic Justice.”
The mash up was Imagine Dragons “Radioactive” and Kendrick Lamar’s “M.A.A.D. City (feat. MC Eiht)” and let me tell you, it was like witnessing Kate Middleton give birth to the new royal baby. It was epic. It was art. It was something I would ever consider meshing together, but I’m so glad there are people more creative than I am.
This song itself should have won a Grammy. It was so great that I’ve never seen so many people demanding the single via Twitter. Imagine Dragons and their record label immediately released a track of “Radioactive featuring Kendrick Lamar” post-Grammys. I just downloaded it, and I have to say I’m a tad disappointed. It will never compare to the actual Grammy performance, but it will fill my void for now.
Pharrell William’s Hat
Words cannot describe how talented Pharrell Williams is. Not only did he collaborate with Robin Thicke and Daft Punk this past year, he’s also won Grammys of his own.
The moment Pharrell was seen walking the red carpet, my mouth dropped. He’s a handsome guy, but his fashion sense is less than forward. He was constantly compared to the Arby’s logo throughout the night and when he performed “Get Lucky” with Daft Punk, he changed into a different hat that made no sense. What on earth is he hiding under there?!
How Lorde Could Be A Third Jenner Sister
Lorde is known for her single “Royals.” In fact, it won song of the year at the Grammys because everyone and their mom have done a cover of it. This was my first time to ever hear Lorde speak. Homegirl is from New Zealand so she has a tad of an accent, oh, AND SHE IS ONLY SEVENTEEN.
She performed the hit during the Grammys and needless to say her hand motions while she sings are slightly terrifying. Like, I was really nervous that she was going to poke her eye out when she really got into it.
What’s funny about Lorde is that she looks like a Jenner (from the reality show “Keeping Up With The Kardashians”.) From the way she gave her acceptance speech, you can tell Lorde is young. She’s awkward, but I love her for it.
Macklemore and Ryan Lewis Hosted Nuptials
I have a special place in my heart for Macklemore and Ryan Lewis. I saw them live in Houston over Thanksgiving break, and it was one of the best performances I have ever seen.
The pair won four Grammys that evening, and also performed their song “Same Love.” The track is a song written in support of gay marriage. The stage for their performance was set like a church alter. The reason for this was a mass wedding took place during their song. Thirty-three couples (gay and straight) were married during the performance. Queen Latifah officiated the ceremony while Madonna was the maid of honor and sang “Open Your Heart” as the couples made their way back up the aisle.
It was a moving event. How cool would it be to say Queen Latifah married you, Macklemore and Ryan Lewis was the entertainment and Katy Perry caught your bouquet.
Daft Punk Was Silently Screaming The Entire Time
Daft Punk was the biggest winner at the Grammys. The robots won record of the year for “Get Lucky” and album of the year for “Random Access Memories.”
For as much as they won, I don’t know how they didn’t break their silence. Because the dynamic duo calls themselves “robots,” they do not speak. No one knows what he or she looks like or who they are. All we know is they are from France. Pharrell Williams did all of the talking whenever they had to make an acceptance speech.
Singer-songwriter Paul Williams accepted the album of the year award. At one point of the night Pharrell did relay a message from the robots saying they wanted to attribute Macklemore and Ryan Lewis for their song and watching all of the couples get married. They compared it to the beginning of a revolution.
About Lauren Estlinbaum
